“Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will feed himself the rest of his life”
When we do something for a performer that they could do for themselves we deprive them of an opportunity to progress towards becoming self-sufficient. Whilst this might seem like a small thing, if we extrapolate this out, these small things compound over time into a major issue. All of which becomes apparent when the occasion arises that the performer is on their own and facing a situation that requires them to act independently, only to find themselves to be entirely unprepared to do so.
A recent and particularly vivid example of this was the covid-19 lockdown. Suddenly performers found themselves without access to the facilities, direction, supervision and support they were accustomed to, such that they had to find a way on their own. Some performers coped admirably and even thrived when they found themselves with greater autonomy. Clearly this was great credit to the individuals concerned and reflects very well on their intrinsic motivation and resourcefulness, but it is also testimony to the coaching and the environment they had been exposed to beforehand.
Equally what was also revealing and something of a wake up call is how so many others fared considerably worse during their time away and these individuals faced a steep path when organised practices and competitions resumed. Indeed this was evident even at professional and elite level when we observe how some performers have struggled upon their return. Below the elite level, many fell by the wayside entirely and an untold number have been lost to sport - we might hope temporarily.
If we put this in the starkest terms, what we are effectively doing when we deny performers the opportunity to do things for themselves is setting them up for failure when the time comes that they must fend for themselves. When it is framed in this way it can seem like negligence. In fact, most often this is a situation we stumble into inadvertently, despite the best of intentions. Rather than any lack of care, in most instances it stems from a desire to help and our somewhat overzealous efforts to do so.
COACHING AND PARENTING…
This discussion may have particular resonance for readers who have experience raising kids. This is a conundrum which is particularly prominent in the sport parenting realm - how active parents should be in their child’s participation in youth sports is not a straightforward question, not least as the balance is continually shifting as kids progress through the youth sports journey. There are many parallels between coaching and parenting. When coaching athletes in an individual sport especially, the long-term objective is that we make ourselves redundant. The job of a parent is similarly to ensure that their offspring becomes self-reliant and equipped to operate independently when they eventually venture out on their own. Looking ahead to when they go out into the world or step into the arena we should be doing our best to ensure that the performer has the capabilities to cope with whatever challenges they might face.
“Spoon-feeding teaches nothing but the shape of the spoon”
Whether in the role of the coach or as a parent, in both cases there is need to be mindful of the ultimate mission in how we interact with performers and how much we intervene. Well-intentioned over-parenting has unintended second-order effects that are contrary to producing the desired outcome (i.e. raising an independent, self-reliant and self-sufficient grown up). In much the same way, over-coaching does more harm than good, as it renders the performer less capable of operating independently and in turn more vulnerable when they step into the arena.
WHO’S SHOW IS IT ANYWAY?
When operating in the capacity of a coach or as a sport parent, in either case there must be a recognition that this is the performer’s show. When the individual enters the arena and steps up to perform they are on their own - and this is as it should be. A recalcitrant young performer might need some encouragement to attend practice or stay on task during training from time to time, but at some point in the youth sports journey there needs to be a realisation that it is their journey and it is up to them. One of the ridiculous and maddening sights is when a coach (or indeed an over-exuberant parent) attempts to intervene and get involved in the action from the sidelines. A friend and former colleague kept a supply of lollypops to hand out to parents or coaches for when they got carried away during matches and encroached in this way.
Just as we need to afford performers the opportunity to make mistakes and figure things out in the competition arena, by extension we need to create an environment and provide ample opportunity to acquire the necessary skills and tools to cope in practices, during training and in the times in between. To that end, it is important that as coaches we explain the rationale for each element in the training programme or practice session. We should explain the reasoning process behind everything and let them know why and how it is important, rather than simply telling them that it is.
We should realise that it is always a choice. Supervision is certainly helpful, but only to a point. When we stand over a performer to make that they do something we fail to consider that there is much that is beyond our ability to control or enforce. Notably, what attention and other mental resources they invest in the process remains up to them. Such an approach also fails to guarantee that the performer will bother to train and practice when we are not there to stand over them.
HANDS-OFF VERSUS HANDS-ON…
Part of the strategy for preparing young players that is employed by a friend who heads up the regional high performance tennis academy here in BC is to periodically send the kids for spells training and competing in Europe. During their stay the young players are exposed to a higher standard of tournament play and the fiercely contested competition environment that is found in Europe. Beyond that, these trips serve a larger purpose from a talent development perspective: to some degree they constitute a rite of passage, or at least a dummy run to prepare the young performers for the trials that await them. Leaving the comforts of home and the extensive support that they are accustomed to is an essential part of the experience. Whilst there are responsible grownups on hand, each player is expected to take of themselves and do their part to handle admin, travel and logistics that are usually taken care of on their behalf.
That said, the solution is not to just leave them to it. Returning to the proverb, the onus is on teaching the performer to fish, rather than simply handing them a rod and sending them on their way. We must help performers learn to fend for themselves, especially for those who aspire to competing at the elite level, where it is survival of the fittest.
From the outset this means instructing the performer on the fundamentals and providing further coaching and supervision over time to allow them to attain a level of mastery. Part of this process is imparting knowledge and lending the performer the benefit our experience and expertise. To be successful the performer will require a variety of skills and knowledge across multiple areas, not least athlete life skills so that they can manage themselves and other commitments in the times between organised practices, supervised training sessions and competitions.
Once again developing capabilities that ultimately equip performers to operate independently involves periodically immersing the performer in environments that bring these skills to the fore and strategically exposing them to situations that place the onus on the individual.
CAPABILITY BREEDS CONFIDENCE…
Much of the anxiety experienced by performers stems from a sense of being unprepared and ill-equipped. With the increasing spotlight on mental health among high profile athletes, it has been proposed that we should attempt to ameliorate stress with various accommodations and by trying to downplay things in a way that is artificial. I would argue we should acknowledge the crucible of competition for what it is - something that is devised to test the mettle of the athlete. We should further emphasise that they enter into this arrangement knowingly and participate in it of their own volition.
It follows that rather than trying to engineer things artificially to protect the performer and futile attempts to eliminate stress, which are at best temporary patches and ultimately doomed to fail, we can rather address the source of much of this anxiety by instilling in the performer a greater sense of self-efficacy. Self efficacy encompasses a feeling of mastery, confidence and ability to cope with challenge within a specific domain. In other words, the best way to safeguard the performer is to instill the belief that they possess the necessary tools and capabilities to cope with the trials that are a feature and an integral part of competitive sport.
Creating the basis for this belief and a central part of the tempering process to future-proof performers is providing the opportunity for the performer to test themselves in practice and competition environments that are more forgiving. We can effectively innoculate the athlete against negative aspects stress by intentionally exposing them to trials and stressful situations under lower stakes conditions. The only way to disarm fear and anxiety is by facing them head on. The prospect of doing something is also typically far more daunting than the reality. To use a metaphor, it is better to seek out the dragon in its lair and engage it on our own terms than to wait for it to come for us. Choosing to voluntarily confront a situation that induces fear and anxiety robs it of much of is power. Indeed over time performers may come to relish these experiences and the opportunities they afford to test themselves and ultimately become better as a result.
It is necessary for performers to be permitted the space and freedom to make mistakes and also to be afforded the opportunity to trial different strategies and solutions. As well as exposing performers to situations that require them to deploy their problem-solving and coping skills, the guidance of coaches, parents and mentors can help performers make best use of these experiences to hone these skills. After actions reviews with trusted people in the performer’s circle help to elucidate the lessons that they can take moving forwards. As the performer progresses on their journey, the trials they encounter and the problems to be solved increase in complexity and demand the ability to deal with ambiguity and face the unknown. Necessarily these are trials that they must increasingly face alone, but we remain at their disposal to provide counsel to help with the ongoing process of developing their own judgement.
Cover photo credit: Photo by Federico Giampieri on Unsplash
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