A very warm welcome to returning readers and those finding the Prepared Blog for the first time. Locally here in Vancouver there are positive signs as we contemplate taking the first tentative steps back out into the world outside after a long two months under lockdown. For my part I am eagerly looking forward to getting back outside coaching - whilst maintaining social distancing of course.
For this latest offering, I chose the theme of getting it wrong. Much of what I do as a coach involves helping individuals to acquire new skills and coaching them to move in ways that differ to what they are accustomed to. When we attempt something new or try out a different way of doing things we naturally do not get it right first time or every time. Learning, relearning or refining skills means having a go - and in turn getting it wrong with some regularity! Of course not everybody enjoys going through these trials that are such a feature of the process.
Full disclosure: during my younger days playing sport I was more prone than most to losing the plot when I wasn’t performing to my own expectations or picking things up as quickly as I felt I should be. It is fair to say I would fairly regularly throw my toys out of the pram and spit out my dummy. Whilst I have acquired wisdom along the way during my journey as a coach, I very much identify with performers who struggle with being Zen as they struggle to meet their own standards as they strive to develop and improve.
MISTAKES ARE PART OF THE JOURNEY…
The road to learning and improving is littered with mistakes and failed attempts. Our early attempts as we embark on the learning process will inevitably be imperfect. Even when performers become proficient every attempt is far from perfect. Whilst we might see the feats of athleticism and skill that stars of the sport execute on the big stage, what we don’t see are all the failed attempts in practice on their way to achieving those heights..
Even the most accomplished of performers still struggle at times. This is the case particularly during the early stages of learning or transitioning to a new way of doing things. As I am fond of telling athletes I work with for any length of time, even when you become a pro or an Olympian I will always be able to pick out something that can be improved!
From a coach’s perspective it is always interesting and quite informative how different individuals respond to making mistakes, as naturally we will find out at various points in the learning process. On occasion it is a struggle for everybody and on occasion this can be source of frustration. I have found this to be universal with any athlete, regardless of sport, age, or competition level.
GETTING IT WRONG IS INTEGRAL TO THE PROCESS…
Getting it wrong is an inevitability and this is particularly the case when pushing towards the limits of our present capabilities. In fact, if you do find you are getting everything right every time, the odds are you are not pushing your boundaries. Pushing the envelope or adding to our repertoire of athletic skills means getting out of our comfort zone and spending time doing things that are a challenge.
If we aspire to perform at the highest level we must be ready to extend our capacities and expand what we are capable of, which means failed attempts and imperfect execution as we get to grips with things. In fact, this is equally true when we are simply seeking improve upon our personal best whatever our present competitive level. To continue the theme, part of what separates the best performers is that they have different practice habits to the rest. Whilst mediocre athletes choose to practice what they are already good at, the best opt to spend that time working on what they are not good at.
In other words, continual improvement means getting it wrong to varying degrees on an ongoing basis! Naturally this can be particularly hard for driven individuals who set high standards for themselves. Equally achieving those high aspirations means pushing into territory where will get it wrong more often and pushing ourselves to practice what we are not good at.
All of this can present a problem if we are not able to get our mind around it. For some the experience can elicit negative emotions, to such a level that they abort the learning process or even give up participating entirely. Clearly we need to revise our thinking and somehow make our peace with getting it wrong.
FIGURING IT OUT TO ALTER OUR DEFAULT RESPONSE…
Mistakes have a bad rap. We learn nothing without errors. Trial and error is fundamental to our discovery process. From this perspective, mistakes are nothing but data points that help to inform our approach moving forwards. For anybody familiar with the game battleships, the misses just tell us where the other players ships are not located. Rather than responding to mistakes negatively we should rather seek to use them.
Clearly there is also a need to manage our expectations - particularly for those who have a tendency towards perfectionism. An essential and universal truth is that we try to do something different and push the boundaries we will naturally get it wrong from time to time. We are not looking for flawless; this is not something we should be aspiring to. Flawless preparation generally means underwhelming performance in competition. We might be aiming for flawless execution when it matters (at the pinnacle event) - but our preparation remains the time and place where we can and should be trying things and making mistakes.
How an individual responds to errors or failed attempts is illustrative. Our default response can be either positive (and adaptive) or negative. The latter obstructs the overall mission of improving and developing.
In recent times the fixed versus growth mindset idea has become somewhat laboured. However, a useful and important take away from Carol Dweck’s work is how individuals classed as having a ‘growth mindset’ differ in how they entertain errors and how they respond. Most relevant is how individuals’ default responses affect the likelihood that they will persevere and remain engaged with figuring out the puzzle, versus aborting the mission and giving up. On the one hand we might perceive it as a challenge and respond with intrigue when we don’t get the outcome we expected; on the other, we perceive threat and respond with aversion (guess which alternative is more adaptive).
Fear of getting it wrong is a barrier we need to overcome during the coaching process. How we interpret mistakes provides the key to switch our perception and engage in a more beneficial way. Getting it wrong does not have to prompt negative judgements about ourselves. We can switch mode so that when we get it wrong we respond with curiosity rather than with judgement.
A mistake should not be taken as a reflection on ourselves (or at least not a negative one). There is no good reason why a failed attempt should elicit embarrassment, or worse still shame. Getting it wrong should not be a cause to beat ourselves up; an error or a failed attempt is simply a piece of information. We just need to divine what each mistake is telling us. Sometimes getting it wrong is just an indication we are not fully dialled-in, so we may just need to refocus for the next attempt.
There are a selection of acceptable responses on the occasion that we get it wrong or an attempt goes awry. Our starting point is to respond with interest and curiosity. Getting it wrong or not achieving the desired outcome should simply prompt us to reflect and figure out why. On occasion the solution is to wake up and pay more attention on the next attempt! Alternatively, we might have just pushed beyond the limits, in which case we have just discovered where our present boundaries are. A final point is that our objective is making new mistakes; if we are making the same over and over again, clearly we are not paying attention!
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